Today is Dan's birthday. And though he's been gone six months, I still want to celebrate for him. We celebrated his life at his funeral this year on February 26. Again, today, I want to celebrate his life. Honestly, I celebrate him in one way or another every single day. But, today he deserves more.In his memory, I want to share a second eulogy delivered at Dan's funeral. It was written and delivered by our daughter Greta and is a lovely tribute.
"Last night Reverend Brooks reminded us that today is a celebration of life and I have taken that to heart. There are moments that I feel overwhelming confusion and grief but I have spent much of the past six days just remembering Dan. When I think about Dan throughout the years, I don’t remember confusion, grief, or even the Dan that was diagnosed with cancer and then spent three years battling it and never giving up.
I remember consistency, pragmatism, care, and kindness. I also remember epic family vacations that always consisted of the five of us and sometimes, if we were especially fortunate, our dog Brendan. Camping, skiing, all that history. You would think the camping, skiing, and showing history to kids must have been torture for him but he kept doing it and now these are all experiences that Richie, Erich, and I have sought to replicate.
I also remember the day to day. Dan was my barometer for whether or not an idea was ridiculous and over the top. If he looked pensive and confused, it was probably bad. If he started researching and reading about it, it was probably good.
I live in Honduras, a decision that Dan met with some apprehension. It has been a challenging environment for me for different reasons, which Dan would surely agree with because he spent 2.5 years listening to me rant on the phone. After these calls, I would hang up and tell myself I would do better next time so he would not see my calls as his parental cross to bear. But he is Dan and he asked the leading questions and I would get going again on my soapbox.
One day I received a message from him. They had moved to Des Moines and were without a church home but still with a desire to do something. Even in the days leading up to his death, he was thinking beyond himself and his place in this world. He did not take this on lightly though and he undertook a very Dan like research project. In his message, he recognized there was great suffering in this world and he and my mom had decided they wanted to tithe to an organization aimed specifically at alleviating the suffering for migrants from Honduras.
He had identified Doctors without Borders and asked for my opinion and suggestions of other organizations that would play a role in improving the lives of Hondurans. Sometimes on low days I wonder if anyone cares or if the world is filled with apathy and disinterest. I am so grateful that the world has people like Dan who take the time to think through all the sides of an issue and remind others, like myself, that at the heart of it is a human being who is deserving of our love and attention. He makes me want to be a better person, someone who is kind and considerate like him.
I knew this would be difficult to get through and I didn’t want to leave you feeling sad because we are celebrating Dan’s life. I would be remiss if I didn’t leave you with something else. I mentioned before the photos and the stories that have flooded us all and many of you commented on something special and very Dan-like, his mustache. He hadn’t had a mustache since the mid-90’s but we all remember it. My brother Erich memorialized it with a handmade Christmas ornament that we bring out every year. If you have seen it then you will know it is only something a parent could love. Dan displayed it every year, even when it turned from a child’s school project into a long-running family joke. He was in on the joke.
Thank you for coming today to celebrate Dan’s life. It was a good one. "
Written and delivered by Greta Lewellyn Schmidt Gromovich, February 26, 2019
In the days and weeks following Dan's death, many friends and family made contributions in his memory to Doctors Without Borders. Our family is so touched by these gestures of love, honor and respect for Dan. There isn't a birthday gift that would make Dan happier than for me to further honor him by matching those gifts. So, I have done so today. This is for you, Dan. Happy birthday!
