Sweet Grit

"It's not about the dying. It's about the living."

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Mother Sarah Writes "Pack your trunk and come to us!"













Sinton, Tex
Sept 9, 1909


Forest my dear son,
Ralph has just brought your letter from the office and after reading it, I just can not wait another minute to write to you. You know of course it makes one awful uneasy about you if you have gotton better and go to work it will get you down sure enough. I want you to pack your trunk and come to us just as soon as you get this if you haven't already. You can find work to do here as soon as you are able to do it. Your Pa could have gone to work the next morning after getting here. You will soon spend all the money you have saved up and can't get away perhaps. Oh it scares me to think of you having that dreadful fever and so far from us. It will be better for you and us too for you to come before you get so you can't. When you father comes from his work I will get him to write some to you and mail this as he goes to work in the morning. For I want you to get it as soon as possible. And come as soon as you get it. And let us know immediately how you are, if you don't come. But I hope you will be able to start by Friday or Saturday. If you come from Fort Worth as we did on the Katy flyer you will get to San Antonio early in the morning and take a car for the SAP depot. you will catch the train for here and get here at two oclock in the day. If you should miss that train you could phone to Bro Hafer and your father can meet you at the train for it gets here after night 8.30.
Forest I don't feel uneasy about advising you to come on account of work. Bro Hafer said the other day that they were wanting hands at Corpus in the Lynd at one time. You can go from here down there and get back for dinner. Tom and Dora came down from Beeville Sunday and he said awhile back he could have gotton [sic] a job on the R Road for Errett. It was something about keeping an egine [sic], so you see there is more places than Sinton where there is lots of work. I do want you to come so bad. I [am]so afraid you will get down before you can get off. I will wait anxiously for you. We will move on to our place this week. Will not write any more now.

Your ever loving and anxious Mother, S.E. Sweet.



Eunice is more than anxious for you to come. She says Mama tell him to come right away. Ralph says tell you he want you to come. Hubert is out at play.

This letter to Forest is written eight months after Errett's letter from Bowie, Tex. (see previous post). The Sweet's -- Lewis, Sarah, Eunice (five years younger than Forest), Ralph (nine years younger) and Hubert (12 years younger) -- have moved to Sinton, Texas, about 500 miles south of Bowie. Apparently, Errett and his wife, Flossie, did not move with them. 

Based on Errett's letter, written in Jan. 1909, I assume Forest was in Anadarko, Okla., about 100 miles north of Bowie. It's possible he is now near Dallas, because Sarah suggests he leave from Ft. Worth on the Katy, a passenger car routed from Galveston to St. Louis. The SAP depot must have been reference to the Sinton depot which is pictured to the right. She mentions that this is how they traveled to Sinton when moving from Bowie.

In this very heartfelt letter, Sarah begs Forest to come home. It seems that he has taken sick and she is worried about his returning to work before he is well.

This is a good time to share a couple of things that may explain Sarah's panic for her son --

First, she has lost several children at a young age to sickness.  In 1882 and 1883, the Sweet's lost four young children. Family stories attribute these deaths to typhoid fever. This, of course, would put the fear of God in her for Forest's well-being if she suspects he has "the fever" as well.






Friday, February 21, 2020

It's been a year.

Dan Cambridge Bear Lake, Colo. 2009
I never really understood the gravity with which people mark the "anniversary" of their loved one's death. (I hesitate to use that word because it carries a celebratory connotation and believe me, I'm not celebrating). But, as I approached February 20, I can adamantly say "I get it!" No one really gets it until they experience it.

But, I'm not writing today to talk about me. That was simply to explain why I post a blog on the "anniversary" of Dan's death. (There's that word again. But I'll keep using it because I don't have a better one. If Dan were here, he would come up with it. Words were his life, you know. But, he's not here.)

Today I want to honor Dan. I won't get into his last moments, other than to say he left this world with as much dignity as he lived his life for 70 years. He never complained. Never showed the incredible pain he must have suffered. Never asked much of me as I cared for him. He left quietly, knowing exactly where he was going.

A few days ago, I told a friend and colleague that Dan and I had an incredible marriage for 30 years. She asked me what made it incredible. I described how faithful he was, not only to me, but to our children, grandchildren, friends, family, colleagues, and his spiritual life, . He was honest in everything he said and did. Throughout our 30 years, he honored me with respect and commitment and a love that I can't find the words to describe.

But, Dan did find the words. Years ago. Even before we were married. It's from the works of Carson McCullers. Dan wrote them down, tucked them away and I found them some months after he died. It was truly divine intervention that I came across this handwritten note. I'm certain he wrote it while we were dating, because there was a picture of my children (eventually to be his stepchildren) tucked inside.

What made our marriage incredible? Every single day for 30 years, Dan expressed this in the way he loved me. He never read it to me; never presented it to me. But he expressed these words, this sentiment, through his actions. Every day. For 30 years.

Thank you Dan for leaving this treasure to be found. I miss you.


All I had ever felt was gathered
together around this woman.
Nothing lay loose in me but was
finished up by her. There were
these beautiful feelings and little
pleasures inside me. This
woman was something like an
assembly line for my soul. I
run these little pieces of myself
through her and come out complete.


Sunday, August 25, 2019

Happy Birthday, Dan!

Today is Dan's birthday. And though he's been gone six months, I still want to celebrate for him. We celebrated his life at his funeral this year on February 26. Again, today, I want to celebrate his life. Honestly, I celebrate him in one way or another every single day. But, today he deserves more.

In his memory, I want to share a second eulogy delivered at Dan's funeral. It was written and delivered by our daughter Greta and is a lovely tribute.


"Last night Reverend Brooks reminded us that today is a celebration of life and I have taken that to heart. There are moments that I feel overwhelming confusion and grief but I have spent much of the past six days just remembering Dan. When I think about Dan throughout the years, I don’t remember confusion, grief, or even the Dan that was diagnosed with cancer and then spent three years battling it and never giving up.

I remember consistency, pragmatism, care, and kindness. I also remember epic family vacations that always consisted of the five of us and sometimes, if we were especially fortunate, our dog Brendan. Camping, skiing, all that history. You would think the camping, skiing, and showing history to kids must have been torture for him but he kept doing it and now these are all experiences that Richie, Erich, and I have sought to replicate. 


I also remember the day to day. Dan was my barometer for whether or not an idea was ridiculous and over the top. If he looked pensive and confused, it was probably bad. If he started researching and reading about it, it was probably good.

I live in Honduras, a decision that Dan met with some apprehension. It has been a challenging environment for me for different reasons, which Dan would surely agree with because he spent 2.5 years listening to me rant on the phone. After these calls, I would hang up and tell myself I would do better next time so he would not see my calls as his parental cross to bear. But he is Dan and he asked the leading questions and I would get going again on my soapbox.

One day I received a message from him. They had moved to Des Moines and were without a church home but still with a desire to do something. Even in the days leading up to his death, he was thinking beyond himself and his place in this world. He did not take this on lightly though and he undertook a very Dan like research project. In his message, he recognized there was great suffering in this world and he and my mom had decided they wanted to tithe to an organization aimed specifically at alleviating the suffering for migrants from Honduras.

He had identified Doctors without Borders and asked for my opinion and suggestions of other organizations that would play a role in improving the lives of Hondurans. Sometimes on low days I wonder if anyone cares or if the world is filled with apathy and disinterest. I am so grateful that the world has people like Dan who take the time to think through all the sides of an issue and remind others, like myself, that at the heart of it is a human being who is deserving of our love and attention. He makes me want to be a better person, someone who is kind and considerate like him.

I knew this would be difficult to get through and I didn’t want to leave you feeling sad because we are celebrating Dan’s life. I would be remiss if I didn’t leave you with something else. I mentioned before the photos and the stories that have flooded us all and many of you commented on something special and very Dan-like, his mustache. He hadn’t had a mustache since the mid-90’s but we all remember it. My brother Erich memorialized it with a handmade Christmas ornament that we bring out every year. If you have seen it then you will know it is only something a parent could love. Dan displayed it every year, even when it turned from a child’s school project into a long-running family joke. He was in on the joke.

Thank you for coming today to celebrate Dan’s life. It was a good one. "

Written and delivered by Greta Lewellyn Schmidt Gromovich, February 26, 2019

In the days and weeks following Dan's death, many friends and family made contributions in his memory to Doctors Without Borders. Our family is so touched by these gestures of love, honor and respect for Dan. There isn't a birthday gift that would make Dan happier than for me to further honor him by matching those gifts. So, I have done so today. This is for you, Dan. Happy birthday!